This week I’ve been so busy yet I’ve gotten no work done, and it feels kinda crappy.
You know that feeling you get when you have an unproductive week? It’s a sinking feeling combined with a ball of energy behind your shoulders. It’s the kind of feeling that leads us into hours of procrastination or busy work just to make us feel better.
Ze Frank has some good advice on this:
When I get that feeling in my stomach, you know that feeling when all the sudden you get a ball of energy and it shoots down into your legs and up into your arms and tells you to stand up and go to the refrigerator and get a cheese sandwich – that’s my cheese monster talking. And my cheese monster will never be satisfied with cheddar, only the cheese of accomplishment.
But today I want to talk about just one thing that happens when we have a busy week, the fear of disappointing people.
Last weekend I went camping for 3 days. As after most camping trips I came back happy and utterly exhausted. I was going to take a break on Monday but was thrown into a week of complete chaos. It started with a normal week of meeting with some friends to work together and quickly spiraled out of control.
One thing after the other came up. All of my usual work periods quickly filled and I realised in all of this that I would not be able to stretch myself across everything. On the one hand I had a bunch of social engagements and on the other
Someone was going to get disappointed and this week, dear readers, it was you.
Disappointing others sucks
This week I haven’t yet posted a workout or drill to Bootcamp Ideas and with everything going on I’ve decided I’m not going to. I know I will get emails from people asking where it is and I admit this scares me.
I start thinking things like What if they leave because they think I don’t care? or What if they think I’m some kind of scam artist just taking their money?
I’ve barely had time to check my email too. In fact right now as I write this, I feel like I should be checking it as I haven’t checked it for two days. Someone could have written me two days ago with something urgent and I haven’t even read it yet. What if I’ve totally let them down?
I know you feel this way from time to time too because you and I are similar. Some time as children something happened to us that made us believe we need to create value by helping others. That’s what drew us to becoming trainers in the first place.
The fact is that this same trait that drives us to help those around us can also be our worst enemy. We tend to sacrifice ourselves and our health to serve others.
We give up our own workouts to accommodate our clients schedules.
We don’t take holidays because we don’t want to let everyone down by going away.
We stop ourselves from shining too bright so that we don’t make those around us feel bad.
Today I want to share with you a few tips that I’ve used and discovered that might help you overcome your fear of disappointing others.
Simple tips to help you be OK with disappointing others
- Talk about it. If you feel like you’ve let someone down, talk to someone about it. Shame grows in silence.
- A good apology can often remedy things afterwards. This follows on from talking about it. I’ve found that most times when someone is upset or disappointed with you they just want to have their feelings acknowledged. Letting them know that you get it and that you are sorry can help you avoid inadvertently burning any bridges while still sticking to what you need to do. Which leads us to the next point.
- Stand your sacred ground. Make the choice to actively live your life. Don’t get passed around in a hurricane of what those around you want. Trust me, you will still end up disappointing people even if you spend your life trying not to disappoint people. Stand your ground and at least you will disappoint people while living the life you want.
- It’s actually not your problem. When someone is disappointed with you, it’s out of your control. Just like it’s your choice to do things that may disappoint others, it’s their choice to feel and act disappointed. It’s their problem, don’t make it yours.
- Breathe. When you start feeling some anxiety over a decision that you know will let someone down, breathe. Breathe and notice the feelings you are having. Don’t engage with them, just notice them, then thank them for helping to protect you and make the choice that’s right for you.
- This is your business. You are in control, after all what is the point of going through all of the stress and anxiety of running your own business if you can’t in the end build a lifestyle that works best for you?
Who are you trying to avoid disappointing?
This week requires some bravery and I’m totally calling you out to answer. What is one choice you would like to make but aren’t because you are afraid of disappointing others?
Share with us in the comment section below.
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